FYI, I’m creating a new series and tag called Typical Conversations with my Husband. I’ve posted numerous of these up on Facebook and they’ve been a big hit, so I’ll post them here as well. Here is the first of many.
This conversation originally took place on March 6:
This morning I made my usual cup of coffee, took two sips and noticed there was a black cat hair floating in it. As is always the case when I find hair in anything, I gagged and dry heaved a couple of times and poured it out. Done. No coffee for me today.
Brian: “I don’t understand why you just don’t take the hair out and keep drinking it.”
Me: “Because it’s effing gross?”
Brian: “Not after you take the hair out.”
Me: “Listen. The cat poops–”
Brian: “I already know where you’re going with this.”
Me: “–and then buries the poop in the litterbox. Then he comes upstairs and grooms himself with the contaminated paw. Contamination spreads to mouth. He licks every inch of himself, therefore every hair on a cat is coated with fecal matter. THAT is why I won’t keep drinking the coffee.”
Brian: “Whatever. Dogs are just as bad.”
Me: “I wouldn’t drink THAT coffee, either. Or anything with ANY hair in it.”
[ A couple minutes pass where I mistakenly thought I'd had the last word... ]
Brian starts picking cat hair off his shirt and waving it in my face.
Today I did something that I’ve been wanting to do since 2005 when I used to drive by a sign on the back roads that said:
U PICK
Strawberries 1 mile —–>
on my way home from Lawrence. I remember seeing it at the beginning of every summer and thinking “When I have kids, we are SOOOOOOOOO going to do that!”
Pickin' strawberries on a farm, E-I-E-I-O!
This is the kind of thing that makes me happy. I love finding new experiences for us as a family as well as for Jack. I have never picked strawberries, have you? It was lots of fun in that fabulous “Look, we’re doing something old-fashioned!” way. (Hey, I have to balance the 60″ tv, dozens of computers, laptops, iPhones and iPads in Jack’s life SOMEHOW. Heh.)
It was really pretty cute because Jack kept trying to step over the row but his little legs are too short and he was running around grabbing everything he could, even the ones that weren’t ripe. *snicker* We eventually saved ourselves quite a bit of money by picking them ourselves and giving him the very important task of placing the just-picked strawberries in the basket. He took his job as “Official Strawberry Placement Specialist” quite seriously, as you can see in the photos.
He's very determined!
Jack is the official "Strawberry Placement Specialist"
We got a little carried away with the fun of it all and picked more than 3 pounds. But it’s fine because OH.MY.GAWD they were good. Mind-blowingly good. Normally when I buy strawberries at the store, I have to dip them in sugar. These were so naturally sweet I didn’t even have to. Absolutely delicious. I am, for the first time ever, really sad that strawberries are only in season for about a month. I’m pretty glad I looked this up and am now aware that I still have a few weeks to pig off as many as I can. (I may have to get extras and try my hand at freezing them next year, but not this year.)
Now that I’m trying to eat more healthfully (do you think buying shortcakes and piling mounds of strawberries and whipped cream on top counts as eating healthfully?), fruits and veggies need to be a big part of that. And I’ve always paid attention to the lists of things that should be purchased organically (apples, grapes, peaches, etc.) and done my best to do so, but an even easier way to remember (for me), is to apply the “if you can’t peel it, go organic” rule. (I’m not so worried about bananas, for instance.) Now that it’s OFFICIALLY been established that pesticides are bad for kids, duh!, it’s even more important to do so. Jack will so far only eat bananas, pineapple and cantaloupe, so he hasn’t been exposed much pesticide, if any.
While I’m not yet ready to start growing my own garden—the rabbit population in this particular suburb is completely out of control and I must admit that it makes me want to go all sorts of Elmer Fudd psychotic on their hyperactively humping asses!—I am ready to try my hand at a tomato plant (the husband is going to freak the eff out when he hears this, his hatred of tomatoes rivals a vampire aversion to garlic), as well as trying to grow my own indoor tabletop herb garden. Primarily for cilantro, parsley and oregano, but I’ll see what other goodies I can’t live without.
I’m going to “cheat” on both counts: Topsy Turvy for one and pre-planted seedlings on the other. So? I’m still psyched!
Do you suppose it’s significant that at THE.VERY.SECOND I had linked the website STFU, Conservatives and was busy reading this post, Nirvana’s song Lake of Fire was playing in iTunes?! I am NOT kidding. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
iTunes screensnap
Oh, holy hell… I need to start packing up all of my flame retardant sportswear, don’t I?!
I hope all of my superfab momma friends had a truly wonderful Mother’s Day weekend! We certainly did! We rounded up my nephews and took them up to the Spirit of Mission Days, which is a typical small-town carnival and fair. Brian and Arden took off and rode all the rickety rides while my 6 y/o nephew hung out with Jack and me. I let him play a bunch of games, even though he was “too big to win prizes” and gave everything he won to Jack. Well, except for the 3 ft. long stuffed snake. THAT was cool enough to try and win (and keep). *snicker*
They had a big slide he was going to go down, but he got about halfway up, freaked out, and came running back down. I was trying not to laugh, because—well, because it’s kinda mean—but I really wanted to because SERIOUSLY?! When I was his age, I was jumping out of two-story barns, and convincing my younger sister (his mother) to follow suit. And he can’t even go down a SLIDE?! Granted, it’s a big slide, but still… it wasn’t very steep—just long. Even my two year old had more courage. Jack was trying to figure out a way to sneak through the gate so he could get on it! Bwahahahaha! (I would have let him, too, had the height requirement not been 42 inches! Little man was 7″ shy!)
But wait… it gets better. There was a little carousel of cars for toddlers, and since it was really the only thing Jack could ride, we thought it’d be cute to put him on it right before we left. I figured my nephew could sit with him so he wouldn’t be alone (but Andrew chickened out on that, too. No, I’m not kidding.) SNORT. I didn’t say a word, though. Just told him it was okay (and it is, but it’s still funny).
So Jack got on by himself and he loved it… at first. Small car + horn + steering wheel = FABULOUS. But then it started to move and go ’round. He was having a grand old time for the first few spins, but when he tried to stand up and realized he was belted in, he had a little meltdown, chucked his pacifier on the ground and started crying. Ooooooops!
Exhibit A:
Despite that little bit of drama, he was perfectly fine after he got off the ride. Everyone had an absolute blast. I loooooooooooovvvvvvvvve summer carnivals, they’re so much fun!
A few photos:
Jack chowing down on some Dippin' Dots
Andrew shooting cans to win a prize
Brian and Arden at the bottom of the Super Slide. Yes, the same slide Andrew refused to go on. Heh.
I was worried it was going to be hard for me, seeing as how I’m estranged from my own mother and all, but it really wasn’t. That’s not to say it doesn’t bother me—it does. But it didn’t bother me yesterday, and it bothers me less and less the more time that passes. And that’s a good thing.
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.” – Robert Frost
I chose instead to celebrate how blessed and lucky I am to be Jack’s mom.
I saw this poem and I really like it because it reflects most of my feelings on how to be a good mom to my son:
What Is a Mother?
A mother is someone to shelter and guide us, To love us, whatever we do, With a warm understanding and infinite patience, And wonderful gentleness, too.
How often a mother means swift reassurance In soothing our small, childish fears, How tenderly mothers watch over their children And treasure them all through the years!
The heart of a mother is full of forgiveness For any mistake, big or small, And generous always in helping her family Whose needs she has placed above all.
A mother can utter a word of compassion And make all our cares fall away, She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter And make life delightful and gay.
A mother possesses incredible wisdom And wonderful insight and skill – In each human heart is that one special corner Which only a mother can fill!
This is another super yummy recipe I thought I’d share. I found this one in Cooking Light magazine. It’s a quick and easy recipe to make for lunch. You can make this vegetarian (as shown), or add 1/2 to 1 lb. cubed, cooked chicken, which makes a pretty hearty dinner for us carnivores. It’s delicious either way.
Chipotle Bean Burritos
1 tablespoon oil (canola or olive oil)
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 teaspoon chipotle chili powder (if you don’t have this on hand, you can sub in 1/2 t. regular chili powder and 1/8 t. ground red pepper)
1/4 t. salt
1/3 c. water
1 15 oz. can of black beans, rinsed and drained
1 15 oz. can of kidney beans, rinsed and drained
3 Tbsp salsa (fresh is best, but I use bottled chunky salsa)
4-6 whole wheat tortillas
1 cup shredded cheddar or Mexican blend cheese
3 plum tomatoes, chopped (or just add about 1 c. more salsa)
1 1/2 c. shredded romaine lettuce
6 Tbsp light sour cream (optional)
Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add garlic to pan; cook 1 minute, stirring frequently. Stir in chile powder and salt; cook 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Stir in 1/3 c. water and beans; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes or until water is mostly absorbed. Remove from heat; stir in salsa.
Warm tortillas according to package directions. Spoon about 1/3 c. bean mixture into center of each tortilla. Tope each serving with about 2 1/2 T. cheese, 1/4 cup tomato, 1/4 c. lettuce, and 1 Tbsp sour cream; roll up.
If you want to serve this with chips and a bit of guacamole:
Place 1 ripe avocado(it’s ripe if it’s really dark green or black and soft to the touch) in a bowl and mash with a fork. Add 1 T. minced red onion or shallot, 1 T. chopped fresh cilantro, 1 T. fresh lime juice, 1/2 t. salt, 1 minced garlic clove, and 1/2 jalapeno pepper (seeded and minced). If you want it spicier, add a dash of hot sauce or a bit of salsa. Stir until well blended. Serve with baked tortilla chips.
So yeah, I’m sitting in my living room blogging from my iPad. Jealous? Don’t be. It’s a pain in the ass. I’ve barely pecked out one sentence and I’m already annoyed. Most of my disgruntlement stems from the fact that it’s too big to type really fast with thumbs like on my iPhone. Equally as annoying? Whenever I hold it, Jack comes running and snatches it out of my hands. Or sneaks up on me like a little ninja and his tiny little finger ALWAYS finds the most inopportune button: cancel and delete seem to be his current favorites.
It is big and beautiful and shiny, though! I’m sure at some point I will find use for this other than as a way to watch tv shows and videos online or as a really super fabulous picture frame. (My enthusiasm is underwhelming, I know. So to be fair, you should read my husband’s take on it, too.)
I’ve switched back to my iPhone. (Which is also a pain in the ass to type on—I can just type on it twice as fast as the iPad. Still nowhere near the 120+ wpm that I type on a keyboard, but seeing as how I am so rarely in front of my actual computer anymore, I’ll take what I can get!)
Brian and I sharing bread pudding after our anniversary dinner
Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband, Brian! Although we’ve actually been together for 12 years, today marks 8 years of being married. Eight years ago today we were standing on a beautiful white sand beach in the Florida Keys, vowing in front of some douchey Justice of the Peace and a metric ton of rotting seaweed that we would love each other until the end of time. And if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing (though I might choose something other than a cruise for our honeymoon).
The last two years in particular have been the best yet! Seeing what a fantastic father you are has only made me love you even more as a husband. I’m so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. ♥
Brian: It’s a Krabby Patty! A yummy, tasty Krabby Patty!
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