FYI, I’m creating a new series and tag called Typical Conversations with my Husband. I’ve posted numerous of these up on Facebook and they’ve been a big hit, so I’ll post them here as well. Here is the first of many.

This conversation originally took place on March 6:

This morning I made my usual cup of coffee, took two sips and noticed there was a black cat hair floating in it. As is always the case when I find hair in anything, I gagged and dry heaved a couple of times and poured it out. Done. No coffee for me today.

Brian: “I don’t understand why you just don’t take the hair out and keep drinking it.”

Me: “Because it’s effing gross?”

Brian: “Not after you take the hair out.”

Me: “Listen. The cat poops–”

Brian: “I already know where you’re going with this.”

Me: “–and then buries the poop in the litterbox. Then he comes upstairs and grooms himself with the contaminated paw. Contamination spreads to mouth. He licks every inch of himself, therefore every hair on a cat is coated with fecal matter. THAT is why I won’t keep drinking the coffee.”

Brian: “Whatever. Dogs are just as bad.”

Me: “I wouldn’t drink THAT coffee, either. Or anything with ANY hair in it.”

[ A couple minutes pass where I mistakenly thought I'd had the last word... ]

Brian starts picking cat hair off his shirt and waving it in my face.