smartass.nu

My special little guy is two years old. How did this happen?! Even though I see him every.single.day, he has REALLY grown this past month or two. Sometimes I look at him and do a double take, he grows so damn fast! He comes all the way up to my waist! He’s 34 1/2″ tall now, almost 3 feet! He weighs 27 lbs. He wears size 6 diapers and shoes. When I hold him on my hip, his legs seem to dangle on forever. This is all a far cry from the 15″ he was when he was born. I remember he was exactly the length of my forearm, from elbow to wrist. Insane!

Jack's party location

He’s made several new little friends this past year, and I was originally going to have the party at our house, but when I started looking at the guest list I kind of freaked out and thought we wouldn’t have room. We have a big house, but it’s all spread out everywhere, and the limit to people congregating in my kitchen is probably about 6-8. Since we invited way more than that, including a bunch of rowdy kids, we changed the venue at the last minute to Broken Arrow Park in Lawrence. I’ve always hated that park, but Brian found a hidden playground and shelter on the north side of the park that I have never seen before, and it was perfect.

We had about 26 adults show up, and about 10 kids or more! It was a great turnout and loads of fun. (We… ummm… we were late getting there, and a couple of our guests were there waiting for us for about 10 minutes. We really do suck with time. It’s truly awful.) But we apologized profusely, quickly set everything up and grilled some burgers and dogs.

It was a great day. Plenty of room for everyone, and a great playground for all the kids. I gave them all goody bags filled with fun things and sidewalk chalk, so they all had plenty to do. The weather was a BIT chillier than I was hoping for, but the rain thankfully held off, and that was the big thing!

DJ Lance cake and accompanying pals

Everyone loved the cake and cupcakes I made. Heh heh. It’s not like they were some grand creation— I just followed some instructions over on Nick Jr.’s website. (<!– begin mini rant –> even though the instructions suck and oh my god, if you ever make these, do NOT try to use taffy like all of them suggest, working with taffy is AWFUL! Learn how to make and roll fondant, it’ll save you hours and hours of frustration! </ end mini rant> )

But it was pretty awesome, even I have to admit. DJ Lance’s hat is actually coconut. Some people thought it might be shredded cheese. Whaaaa…?! Ew! The cupcakes are of course the rest of the Yo Gabba Gabba gang: Foofa, Brobee, Toodee, Plex, Muno. (By the way, Brian did half of this! He’s awesome and I have learned he’s a great little decorator. This will come in handy for the future!)

I’m going to have to keep topping myself, too, because I’ve created a monster and now all my friends expect great things from me. EEEK! My friend Stacy said, and I quote:

“She is going to make us all look inadequate. She is the Martha Stewart of KS only cooler and better rap sheet…”

I had to tell her I wasn’t sure the rap sheet part was ENTIRELY accurate. *snort* And the only thing I have in common with Martha Stewart is that most people who meet her think she’s a bitch. HEH.

So yeah. I’m going to have to do something amazing every year now! *BIG DRAMATIC SIGH* (Just kidding. I love it that people think I’m capable of great things. )

Jack especially! His reaction made it worth it. He’d stand up on his little chair and watch us decorating it and would smile and smile. SO CUTE!

And he had sooooooooooo much fun at the party! In all honesty, I was really surprised by him. Usually whenever people are around (especially a LOT of people), he’s quite shy and tends to shadow me pretty closely, mostly insisting on me picking him up. But on that day, he was a little social butterfly! He mingled with all of his mini guests, playing with all of them for a bit. He came over and checked with me every 30-45 minutes or so, but I barely saw him! I couldn’t believe it. It was almost like he was saying “Look, mom, I’m two now, and I’m way too cool to be hanging out with you all day.” I was so proud of him.

His Aunt Kelly followed him around and snapped a bunch of cute photos for me.

Love this one

Wow, that's a long ways up! (He climbed it, too!)

Hangin' out on the slide

Chuckling

Pushing the wagon his great Aunt Lynn gave him

Playing with Jenne, who was also there two years ago on his actual birth day!

Sometimes when I’m relaxing at night after Brian gets home and Jack is on my lap cuddling with me, I think “I am THE luckiest woman on the face of the earth.” And I really do believe it. My heart just bursts with love when I think about it. These past two years have been the absolute best, despite the scary beginning and all the resulting drama.

There’s been a lot of crap I’ve had to deal with over the years, and I’ve carried around a lot of baggage because of it. But I feel like I’ve been (mostly) successful at shrugging it off. It’s done and there’s really nothing I can do about it any of it now.

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow’s a mystery. Today is a gift; that’s
why they call it “the present”. — Unknown

Happy little guy

The only thing that matters now is my little family. I’ll take everything I’ve learned (good and bad) from my own past and use that knowledge to help me provide this little boy with a secure home with two present, stable, and loving parents in a healthy marriage and a fun, happy childhood. That’s ALL that matters to me. It’s my #1 priority.

Just look at his little face. I think I am succeeding so far, don’t you?! And all the joy that he feels? I’m proud that I (we) are the cause of that. <3

I’m working on Jack’s birthday party post (I’m waiting for my sister to send me the photos she took), but in the meantime, I’ll update you on my annual March for Babies walk.

Thanks to all of my friends’ help (and the generosity of one of Brian’s biggest clients’ employees), I met and surpassed my goal of raising $1,000 for the cause! The grand total was $1,445, actually. Hurrah! So thank you if you were one of my kind and generous friends who helped support me in my #1 cause. My biggest contributor was of course my husband, who donated $424 (4/24 is Jack’s birthday).

My walking partners!

This year was insane since it was the day before Jack’s birthday and we were crazy busy prepping for his party. We had to stop late afternoon and drive to Topeka. (We actually had to skip the one in Lawrence this year because it was held ON Jack’s birthday! Eeeek!) Then we walked around the Zoological Society and Gage Park, then made a mad dash back home to put Jack to bed and then finish decorating the cake and baking some other things. C-R-A-Z-Y!

A part of me likes it that it’s always the day before or after Jack’s birthday, because that makes it all the more meaningful to us. However, I think it could be just as meaningful if it were two or three days removed in either direction so I could have a bit more room to breathe! Hahaha!

Anyway, I will probably be walking in Topeka every year from now on unless Lawrence moves its walk somewhere else. I’m not sure why they don’t hold it out at Clinton Lake, which seems like the logical choice. Instead, it’s currently held in downtown Lawrence, starting at the tiny little South Park and walking all the way through downtown Lawrence. Mass Street is cool and all, but with all the traffic and the signs and distractions, you don’t really get a chance to reflect. It’s too chaotic. Walking at the park in Topeka was peaceful and absolutely beautiful.

And as usual, it’s fantastic to see all the other parents of preemies and former preemies walking, trying to give back to the organization that helped fund research that saved their children’s lives. So wonderful!

Here are some photos of my little miracle baby clowning around before the walk:

Park benches make great jungle gyms!

Always with his mischievous little grin!

Bonus! Catching a giraffe at the Zoological Society

Jack in front of the tree we planted in his honor

We’ve waited a full year to see this little redbud bloom, and here it is! Wooo hoooo! I can’t tell you how happy that makes me!

I’m not sure if you remember the story behind this tree or not, but the short version is that we planted this redbud tree right after Jack’s first birthday. We had noticed these pretty purple trees driving back and forth to the NICU during Jack’s stay there. At the time, I wasn’t sure what type of tree they were, so I started calling them “Jack’s trees”.

I thought it would make a really fantastic gift to him in addition to being a very happy reminder to us every year when it bloomed around his birthday. And it is!

Earlier that day I took Jack over to it and explained to him what it was and why it was so special to us. I told him that the tree loved him sooooooo much that it ONLY bloomed every year on HIS birthday! He just smiled and nodded and said “Uh huh!” in agreement. Hee! He’s so damn cute.

So I’m only two whole weeks late on posting Easter photos! Pffft! (Pretend like you’re shocked at my ineptitude in blogging, won’t you?!)

[  Enter usual excuse here ]

How’s that?! The truth is I just suck at blogging these days. You know it and I know it. 

Jack's Easter basket (which was really Brian's)

I also made extra baskets for my nephews. I started doing that every year because hey, I have to buy all the candy and stuff anyway, and it’s sure in the hell not going to all fit into one basket, so why not split it up between three? Aren’t I resourceful?

We tried to do the whole dyeing of the eggs thing with a Paas kit, too. Jack wasn’t even remotely interested in doing that, although he did have tons of fun covering himself with the accompanying stickers.

I don’t remember doing this at all as a kid, so I was quite eager to dye the eggs. But it wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it’d be. In fact, it created a helluva mess and took FOR-FREAKIN-EVER to dye them to a worthwhile shade, and even then the color kind of sucked. Even with vinegar that is supposed to “enhance” the colors! What the… ?!

Later that day, we went on what was touted as an Easter Egg Hunt train ride on the Midland Railway, which is right here in my town. We’ve been here for five years and have never been on the train, so we figured it was time, and might be a cool experience for Jack. Welllll…. it’s Kansas, so the scenery is boring as hell. The train was going VERY slow (I think a bicycle could have kept up with it, *yawn*), and the Easter bunny was… well, he was really fucking creepy. I present to you, Exhibit A:

Scary Ass Easter Bunny

After the train got rolling, we all filed car by car to the back of the train, where that monstrosity was sitting silently… waiting. As expected, Jack wanted NOTHING to do with that shit. Heh heh. And neither did we, honestly. What the hell, man?! Time to invest in an Easter bunny costume that was MADE IN THIS CENTURY, people! That one looks like it’d be in one of Tim Burton’s films! Or perhaps one of the shrunken head people in Beetlejuice.

When it finally… F-I-N-A-L-L-Y reached its destination (which was in the middle of nowhere—fitting because it was a few miles from the literal town of Nowhere, Kansas), it stopped and we all deboarded.

There was a field covered with plastic eggs, and kids aged 2-8 stood in a circle until they blew a whistle, then they all descended upon the eggs like greedy little vultures and it was over in less than 60 seconds. We were kind of stunned at how anti-climatic it was. People let their naughty older kids pretty much steal eggs right out from under my toddler’s feet.  There should have been a separate toddler one, in my opinion. So it pretty much pissed me off, but thankfully Jack didn’t really care. (I am trying to learn how to be zen from my toddler. Go ahead. Yuk it up. It’s working!) He had his three or four eggs, and when it was done we kind of kept throwing them back on the ground so he thought he was collecting dozens. Hee! It was cute.

Right before we boarded the train again to head back, I snapped this cool picture:

Easter Train

The next day was actually Easter, so we made a really big deal out of putting eggs filled with jellybeans all over the front yard and letting Jack take his sweet time in picking them all up. He was bored after about 10, anyway! Hahaha! He had way more fun opening them up and trying to put them back together again than a) finding them or b) eating any of the candy inside them!

And for your viewing pleasure, some of my favorite shots from that day:

Jack strolling in front of the willow

This one is probably my favorite

Posing for the camera, such a little ham!

Super cute smile

I love this adorable little candid shot

Hunting for eggs

It’s that time of year again! I’m a little late signing up, but I’m still going to walk in the March of Dimes’ March for Babies event! Because Jack’s birthday is on the same day as the walk in Lawrence this year, I’ll be walking on April 23rd in Topeka this year instead.  Please sponsor me on my March for Babies, where I honor my son Jack, who was born 9 weeks premature. I know money is tight with everyone this year… even $10 would help a lot. Please do what you can, I would be eternally grateful.

I haven’t posted over here since Valentine’s Day? Seriously? I’m a slacker, I’m sorry. Some days I wonder why I even bothered bringing the blog back! I was on such a roll, too.

These days I’m posting most everything up on Facebook and ignoring everything else. What can I say… ? When you don’t have enough time to get everything done, you tend to ignore the non-essentials. I can access Facebook quickly and easily from my iPhone app, even if it does suck, it’s still easier than blogging. My blog posts are always long-winded… if I tried to type all of this on my iPhone, I’d be here all night!

And I definitely can’t blog with Jack in the room. If that boy sees a laptop, he’s on it like white on rice! BAM! How ironic that my little technogeek is preventing his momma from doing anything online?! Heh heh.

Speaking of being online, the news of the day is that I’ve decided to stop doing web development. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve hated doing it for years… it’s high time to quit. I’m going to take a pretty big hit financially, but when I’m only working 18 hours a week, I don’t have enough time to keep up with it, anyway.

I’m THRILLED. Beyond thrilled. ECSTATIC.

I’m in the final stages of notifying all of my clients and finishing a couple of last-minute projects, but then I am DONE. And there’s no backing out this time, either, because I already told all of my biggest clients and have turned away FOUR PROJECTS so far. You have no idea how happy that makes me! I’m not going to be stressing out about how in the hell I’m going to get this project done by that deadline when this dumbass client won’t send me the content; why this client didn’t bother telling me they wanted it to be a different color BEFORE I finished the site; why this client acts like every request they have is a life or death situation; blah blah blah blah! The list of complaints I have is endless.

I can just manage my servers and work on my tee shirts. Both of which (for the most part) run themselves and are pretty low-stress. Bonus? Minimal interaction with the customers, and you know I love that!

It’s funny because every single time I work, something happens that reinforces the fact that I’m making the right decision to get out of that business. A client will get snippy with me for taking too long to answer their email or make an unreasonable demand like “Please have this done by the end of the day.”  I just smile and nod and think “Oooooh, honey! It’s going to be sooooooo nice telling you that I’m no longer going to support your website and that you have to find someone else effective immediately!!!” Heh heh heh. (I did just that on last Monday, as a matter of fact, and it felt gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.)

So before too much longer, you should start getting to know a far less stressed out me. Huzzah!

I decided to make some handmade Valentine’s Day cards for Brian and Jack this year. The one for Jack turned out to be quite a bit more ambitious than I originally thought, but it was worth it! I’m thrilled how it turned out!

The front of the handmade card

It’s actually not so much a card as it is a book—it has 16 pages of poems that I wrote (along with illustrations from daddy) tucked inside and held together with some old-fashioned twine.

The inside of the "heart book"

Brian is such a great doodler, that I really wanted him to illustrate some of the poems. Here are a few of my favorite drawings:

Cuddle Bug doodle by Brian

Sumo dance!

Smart little geek

Brian’s drawings are so adorable that I think I’m going to make a real book out of it. I’m not convinced a Valentine’s Day card made out of construction paper will stand the test of time, and this is something that he’s going to want to keep forever.

Also, he gets such a kick out of me reading it to him that I’d like to put it on his bookshelf and let him read it (or bring it to me to read to him) whenever he wants. I’m going to check into a board book from www.customboardbooks.com.

The entire poem:

On this Valentine’s Day before you’re two
We wanted to tell you how much we love you!

There are soooooo many things we love about you, Jack
Such as the cute way your hair curls up in the back

I love how you lay your head on my shoulder whenever I hug you
And how your giggle is contagious and makes me giggle, too!

I love it that you hold your arms wide to give a bear hug
And how when you get sleepy you’re such a snuggle bug

I love it that you rock out to music at every possible chance
And how you stomp back and forth like a sumo when you dance

We love how you get right back up when you fall down
And how you kick and squeal when daddy spins you around

I love how you bob up and down when you’re really excited
And how your whole face lights up when you’re really delighted

I love how you run through the house with your arms out behind
And what a little gentleman you are—so considerate and kind!

I love how you gesture and make the noise to signify “All done!”
And that you’ve been doing that since before you were one

I love how you’ll hold MY hand but won’t let me hold yours
And how helpful you are when we’re doing the chores

I love the careful way you unload all the dishes
And how you lean in slowly when I ask for kisses

We get a kick out of all the cool sound effects that you like to make
And how you mix up invisible things in bowls when we’re trying to bake

How you want to brush your teeth after every single meal
And how you make the bankrupt sound when we’re watching Wheel

I love how you smile sheepishly whenever I touch your cheek
And how well you use the iPhone, such a smart little geek!

How do we love you? There are millions of ways!
If we tried to list them all, we’d be here for days!

Most of all we love it that you’re such a happy little boy!
Thank you so much for brining mommy & daddy so much JOY.

Jack’s new favorite thing is to push all the dining room chairs over to various points in the kitchen and get into EVERYTHING on that particular countertop. Drawers full of knives, the stove, the toaster, the coffee pot, the sink, etc. Despite locking things and unplugging things and moving them out of his reach, the kitchen has suddenly become unsafe again, so I have to watch him like a hawk every second we’re in there. And like most toddlers, he has a one-track mind, is very stubborn, and doesn’t like to be told no, so endless temper tantrums are the result each and every time I’m brave enough (or dumb enough) to venture into the kitchen. SIGH.

God help me if I have to go to the bathroom and leave him alone for a second. The kid managed to climb up and stick his hand on the still-hot coffee pot before I even sat down on the loo! He’s QUICK. (No serious burn, though he DID cry!) I feel like he’s an infant again and I have to watch him every.single.second, which is annoying because I’ve been enjoying his (and my) freedom for that for several months.

I have put up with this for about four days now, with the understanding that as soon as Brian gets home from Macworld in San Francisco, we are going out to buy something—anything—that will keep him from being able to move the damn chairs across the wood floor. I know of nothing other than some sort of heavy rubber feet. I’m going to have to look around and see what I can find. (I briefly thought about an area rug, but that wouldn’t stop him. The child is freakishly strong, just like his mother.)

But after the latest tantrum, I marched each and every one of those goddamn chairs into the bedroom and locked the door behind them. Now my dining room table is chairless, and I’m unable to eat there, but thank CHRIST for the silence!

Oh, if only that were all I had to deal with. There’s pet drama, too. So when he’s acting up AND the dog and the two cats? I don’t stand a chance.

The dog? Oh dear jesus, the goddamn dog. He chews EVERYTHING, despite having DOZENS of chew toys and bones scattered throughout the house. He destroys EVERYTHING. In sixty seconds, he can have a hole chewed in one of Jack’s favorite pair of pajamas, or a shoe, or one of Jack’s toys. He steals food out of Jack’s hands. He plays too rough with the cats (not that I really care about the stupid cats, but still…) He gets too rowdy and almost knocks Jack off the stairs at least once a day. He gets up in my face all day every day and annoys me.

There are periods of time when I think he’s calmed down and is doing a lot better, fitting in and finding his place in this family. Then he has a really bad week where I just want to throw him outside and lock the door before I kill him. This has been one of those weeks, unfortunately. (Don’t worry, I wouldn’t ever harm any animal. The most I ever do is yell.)

And the cats. Ohhhhh. I hate the cats. Nothing ever changes there. But Rowdy has decided he’s going to start jumping up on the counters. Previously, the cats would only do this when there was a bouquet of flowers on the table. Or maybe a plant. (I DO NOT LIKE THIS. I know most cats do this, but I am NOT okay with it. I don’t want cat hair or their nasty little litterbox feet all over my counters. DISGUSTING. I thought I’d broken them both of it years ago.) But now Rowdy is suddenly jumping up on the counters to eat morsels on dishes. Or to look for dog bones. Or whatever he hell he’s doing. I keep catching him at it, tell him “no, bad kitty!”, pick him up and lock him in his room. It’s not working. I may have to break all four of his legs to prevent him from jumping at all.

So we went to a mall in the KC metro this afternoon and this adorable little girl seemed to be smitten with my Little Casanova. The way there were giggling at each other may have been the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

Jack's Valentine's Day cards

So, my fabulously talented friend Terry over at Sassy Designs created the most awesome custom Valentine’s Day card for Jack, and here is the final proof. Isn’t it ADORABLE?

I’m thrilled with how they turned out. She did an excellent job, and the cards arrived last week! Wooo hoooo!

Also need to thank Kristen, because even though she lives in another state and didn’t take the photos, she did edit them for me and tried to make them look like they WERE taken by a pro photographer!

I didn’t order as many as I usually do for Christmas cards, so not many are getting one of these*.

I always save a couple for myself, and want Jack to have them someday, too. I don’t think he’s ever going to be able to say that momma document his childhood very well or take very many photos! Hahaha.

I have over 7,000 photos of the little guy in my iPhoto library. That’s about 14 GIGABYTES. Yep. It’s slightly crazy, I know.