So… Jack spent a grand total of two days in preschool. Nothing like calling the preschool to check on your child and hearing him crying hysterically in the background. I called more than an hour after Brian left, too.
You know everyone who tells you your kid stops crying a few minutes after you leave and they’re fine? They LIE.
Yet another big, steaming pile of bullshit that mothers tell each other to absolve guilt, I think. Either that or Jack is just a really sensitive little guy who doesn’t adapt as easily as other kids might. I tend to think it’s a little of both.
It’d be one thing if we HAD to keep him in there. Yes, I’m struggling to work and make money when I only get about 15-20 hours a week to do so. But we didn’t put him in preschool out of necessity. We put him in there because we thought he needed a little bit MORE social interaction and structured learning than he was getting at home. I thought he’d have tons of fun around other kids, and he DOES– but only if we’re there with him.
Instead, he spent the entire second day crying. He didn’t get over it in a few minutes or even a couple hours. Five hours of solid crying. He wouldn’t eat or drink ANYTHING while he was there. He didn’t play with the other kids, either. The provider said that was BETTER than Monday. As soon as she said that, I knew they were “fibbing” because they were worried how I’d react. Not acceptable.
When we came home, he screamed bloody murder if I stepped out of his sight. He cried on and off all night. He had nightmares and kicked and screamed and cried. I just decided it wasn’t worth it. I need my little guy to be his normal happy self.
I certainly don’t have a lot of experience in this area, him being my first child and all, but I try to do a lot of common sense parenting backed up by a little (sometimes a lot) of research. I also go with my gut, and my gut is telling me that right now he needs his momma more than he needs to socialize with other kids his age. And I can look up age-appropriate fun and educational things to do with him.
He’s 18 months– it’s OKAY for him to be super crazy attached to me. It’s also okay that he’s wary of strangers and doesn’t feel safe around them. He’s developmentally where he should be, so I’m not worried about it.
Maybe I’m indulging him. I don’t think so, though. I think I’ll just try again when he’s a little older. The average age of kids being okay with spending a day away from you seems to be 3, according to all my friends. So we may try again at that time. By then he’ll be talking and I can explain to him that it’s only for a few hours. Maybe that’ll ease some of the panic he feels whenever he thinks I’m not around.
By the way, he’s STILL screaming when I leave the room. More than week later, he still feels panicky. He’s regressed in his separation anxiety about six months. Isn’t that awful? I feel so bad.
Brian just took Jack off for his first half-day of preschool. This will be his first time away from home in someone else’s care. I think I’m going to cry.
I need to keep reminding myself that this is a GOOD thing. He needs to socialize with other kids and learn how to be more independent.
I think I’m going to throw up.
Update: Brian has been texting me and giving me the play by play of what Jack’s doing. He was completely ignoring Brian and playing until Brian left the room. Just as I feared, Jack is super upset and just puked.
Jack is still just a liiiiittttle bit too young to go trick or treating (and he’s usually asleep by 7, anyway!), so we took him to a kids’ Halloween party on the 29th. He had tons of fun running around with all the other little ghouls and goblins and chowing some string cheese that looked like nasty fingers, bwahahaha!
He’s at an age where if anything sticks out, feels weird, or is even remotely removable, it comes off in a matter of seconds. So a big elaborate costume wouldn’t work this year. We dressed him up as a glow-in-the-dark skeleton. It had a matching hat—which he wouldn’t wear, of course. He was still super cute, anyway.
Here’s some video of him playing a bean bag game with another kid. Note how he just sits there quietly and observes the other kid while he completely spazzes out. Heh heh heh.
We didn’t decorate the inside of the house this year (ran out of time), but Brian did put the tombstones up in the yard again.
The "graveyard" out front
The fiery front porch
Brian skulking in the shadows as the Grim Reaper
Because Jack does go to sleep so early, we had to make sure none of the kids made it up to the front door to ring the doorbell this year. Brian skulked in the shadows of the front porch where he couldn’t be seen until the kids started walking up the driveway, then he would slowly stand up and usually freak them out. There were a couple little 7-year-olds who actually turned around and ran off. Hahahahahahaha. Hilarious! Stuff like that makes his day.
I’m not sure what we’re going to do next year when Jack actually goes trick or treating! Wonder which of us will stay home and hand out candy and which one of us will take Jack? Will leave it up to Brian, but I’m far more interested in seeing my own child than everyone else’s! We can probably hit a handful of houses on our street and will then we can come back and hand out candy. I think our neighborhood would be disappointed if we weren’t participating… most of the kids make a point of telling us how cool our house is. Plus, let’s just be honest here: I think we give out the most (and best) candy. Ha!
I had a twinge of sadness last night because it was SO QUIET without Cheeto barking up a shitstorm all night. It drove him crazy that all these random kids kept invading our yard. Heh heh heh. Even though he was always a huge pain in the ass on Halloween and I usually spent all night messing with him instead of enjoying myself, I still missed him.
Anyway, I hope all of you had a fun (and safe) Halloween!
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
You’ve gone away, you don’t feel me anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. — Douglas Adams
